Mailbag is a tool I utilize with students of Scripture and theology anytime I have the opportunity to teach. The questions that are sent in are ones that we did not have time for in the moment, or the scope of our passage did not directly answer them.
1) Why does it feel like a loss to not have the things I want or to give them up?
To lose something (or someone), either by having it taken from us, or by giving it up, is real loss. Whether it be significant (death of a loved one), mildly important (deciding to move on from a friendship that has been on the rocks for years and finally saying “goodbye” to that person), or seemingly small (deciding to give up Dr. Pepper for a season), all loss is loss. I use these examples from my real life. While the loss felt about Dr. Pepper cannot compare with the grief of losing a family member, or deciding to walk away from a friendship, it is no less real.
There are three truths I have had to grasp to help me walk through these endings. First, Jesus is the true gain. Second, all other goods find their ultimate meaning in Him. Third, gain and loss both are means to being truly satisfied.
To get you started on the first truth, I would commend to you the words of John Piper on finding Jesus as the true Treasure of our hearts. Here are a few resources:
The second truth is that all other good gifts come from God and find their ultimate meaning and fulfillment in Christ. Matt Chandler’s sermon The Response of Faith: Repentance helped me greatly when I was a young believer to understand how to enjoy the good things in life in a way that does not pull me away from God or compete with Him, but pushes me deeper into God and exalts Him.
Third, gain and loss are God’s means to satisfy us. Sam Storms has a good article on going without good things (fasting), and David Mathis has written on feasting, fasting, and daily bread, which can be applied to any good gift.
These three truths have been what John Piper has dedicated his entire ministry to. Books like Desiring God, Don't Waste Your Life, and Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ are some of my favorites that deal with these kinds of questions.
Piper has several sermons that correspond to those books. Here are three.
Boasting Only in the Cross – John Piper – Passion OneDay 2000
Seeing and Savoring the Supremacy of Jesus Christ Above All Things – John Piper – Passion 2012
2) Should I cut all secular music, social media, and shows from my life? What does it say if I do, and I don’t want to fill that time with just Scripture, or I end up filling it with newer substitutes? Does that just show me the sin in my heart, giving me even more reason to cut it all out? Would this mean my heart is only half for God?
My answer to whether or not to cut all secular music, social media, and shows is yes, no, and possibly. Yes if they are causing you to sin. Jesus said to cut off the hand and pluck out the eye if they cause you to sin (see Matt. 5:29-30). It is better to cut out a good thing that has become a bad thing than to be cast into hell.
On the other hand, no. If the impulse to cut out everything that isn’t explicitly Christian or church related stems from a legalism or fundamentalism that creates a sharp sacred/secular divide, and is built on a doctrine of separation rather than an emphasis on being a witness in the world, I would warn against that impulse. What may appear holy on the outside (abstaining from secular music for instance) may actually be a temptation to bind the conscience where Scripture does not do so, and create a new law where the gospel has freed us from the Mosaic Law.
Therefore, one could possibly choose, in their Christian freedom, to enjoy God by taking a break from certain things (or cutting them out altogether), or in the same freedom learn the discipline of enjoying God by pursuing the same thing (much of the sources provided for question #1 apply here as well). I will add this on the temptation towards legalism– The One Genuine Cure for Legalism and Antinomianism.
3) When I want to relax, should I find relaxation through Scripture? Is that possible?
Matthew 11:28-30 says, “28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Jesus says that true rest is found in Him. The next question is, “where do we find Jesus?” John 1:1 says, “1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Likewise, in Luke 24 Jesus says,
25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.
Jesus gives rest. He is the Word. And He can be found in all of Scripture, from Moses to the Prophets to Revelation. Yes, you can find rest and relaxation in and through Scripture, because that is where Jesus is.
However, the word should can be a dangerous word. Should you find ultimate rest in Jesus? Yes. Should you find every moment of rest and relaxation by reading and meditating on Scripture? No. Sleep is a good gift from God as well.
The principle applies to taking time to rest (a practice of weekly Sabbath) and finding Jesus as the ultimate Sabbath fulfillment.
Here are a few resources on finding rest in Jesus.
4) Is listening to too much Christian music good? I feel like listening to Christian music passively takes the meaning away from it. Is it bad to passively listen to Christian music?
“A desire for a good thing becomes a bad thing when that desire becomes a ruling thing” - Paul Tripp.
Can listening to too much music, Christian or otherwise, be a bad thing? Yes, because the human heart is an idol factory. While this is true, and I have serious concerns for those who are drawn to a certain kind of worship music that places the self as the center of the lyrics, I have not found it true for myself that too much Christian music is a bad thing. In fact, this Lent (2024) I have given up TV, video games, secular music, and all other distracting media forms. When I have free moments I listen to Scripture, sermons, read a Christian book, or listen to my favorite Christian songs. To have the words of And Can it Be? stuck in my head has not hurt me, but helped me greatly.
Even to listen to Christian music passively, to have truth in your ears, passively memorizing and recalling the truths and promises of Scripture, is a good thing. While many Christians are prone to ask if they have overindulged in Christian music, I actually believe we have profoundly undersold its value and power in the Christian life. There are many places to get a greater vision for worship. Here are four:
5) Am I supposed to figure out the Gospel for myself?
What I take this to mean is whether each individual (even those who grew up in church) needs to understand the Gospel message for themselves. Or, can one believe in God and Jesus but not truly understand the Good News?
Here are a few brief thoughts:
We are saved by grace, through faith– or believing (Eph. 2:8). The kind of faith that is saving must understand something of what it has been placed in. So, for the sake of being saved, everyone who claims to be a Christian must understand the truth of the Gospel, but no Christian can fully know everything about God, Jesus, or God’s ultimate redemptive plans and purposes.
Every Christian is commanded to teach the Gospel to all nations as part of the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20). To not understand the Gospel would keep one from obeying the command from Jesus.
The Gospel is not just for “getting saved” but for being saved. The Gospel is for Christians, even those who have been believers for decades.
I could list dozens more reasons why, but I think these three alone ought to show why it is so important for each person who believes themselves to be saved to understand the Gospel.
6) If I believe Christianity is true because I was raised in it, what does that mean? It makes sense to me, but I would feel the same way if I was raised Muslim too, right? Does that mean I need to research it all for myself and prove it to myself? Or is it okay to just ignore that idea because I would rather believe Christianity than put in the work of questioning it all when I know there are people who have questioned it and come to the conclusion that it is true?
This ties directly back into the previous question. You see, Christianity is not just something to be believed. The truth of Jesus, and Jesus Himself, is to be believed, obeyed, and treasured. If one does not know that Christianity is provable, or understand the core doctrines that define Christianity in contrast to Islam or any other religion, how can that person truly believe, obey, or treasure the reality? At that point, this person hopes Christianity is true because that is how they were raised, and it would be inconvenient (possibly damning) for them to be wrong about the whole thing.
The question also pits believing the truth against asking questions– “I would rather believe Christinaity than put in the work of questioning.” This assumes that one can believe in something without evidence or foundation. It is true, we all have beliefs that cannot be proven. I believe the earth is round, though I have never done the work to prove it. You could say I was raised a “round-earther,” yet I feel no pressure to go prove it.
With issues of faith, eternity, eternal life and eternal death, much more is at stake than spheres and planes. I believe the earth is round, and I believe Jesus rose from the dead and is the Son of God. I might grab coffee to talk about the one, but would not spend much time on it. The other I have given my life, and one day may face death, because of it. Why? Not because I was raised in it (in fact, I rejected Christianity for 8 years). I would die for the sake of the Gospel because I believe it to be true, qualitatively in a way that is entirely superior to my belief that the earth is round. I rarely think about the roundness of the earth. While I may submit to whatever scientific laws exist because of it, I do so unknowingly. I do not meditate on that reality. I do not treasure it. I do not find my highest good and delight in it. And I am not banking on the shape of the planet I live on to determine my eternity with the Creator in the New Creation.
However, the Gospel and the truths of Christianity are constantly on my mind. When I walk in line with the teachings of Jesus, I do so consciously, because the natural way to live for a sinner is to reject Christ. I daily choose to believe and obey the words of Jesus. I meditate on them. I also treasure Christ. I find Him as my highest good and my great delight. And I am banking on the work of Christ and His resurrection to determine my eternity with the Creator in the New Creation.
I do not believe people will spend eternity with Jesus rather than eternity separated from Him because they “hoped so.” What do I mean by believing, obeying, and treasuring Jesus in the Gospel? Here are three free resources:
7) How am I supposed to know what to believe about Christianity since many people tell me different things about it (school, church, parents)? And I feel I don’t have the time to figure it out for myself (maybe I would have more time if I dropped all the things I talked about above).
I am going to answer these questions in the opposite order, dealing first with the issue of time, and second with the issue of trust. In When I Don’t Desire God John Piper writes,
Suppose you read slowly like I do—maybe about the same speed that you speak—200 words a minute. If you read fifteen minutes a day for one year (say just before supper, or just before bed), you will read 5,475 minutes in the year. Multiply that by 200 words a minute, and you get 1,095,000 words that you would read in a year. Now an average serious book might have about 360 words per page. So you would have read 3,041 pages in one year. That’s ten very substantial books. All in fifteen minutes a day.
Or, to be specific, my copy of Calvin’s Institutes has 1,521 pages in two volumes, with an average of 400 words per page, which is 608,400 words. That means that even if you took a day off each week, you could read this great biblical vision of God and man in less than nine months (about thirty-three weeks) at fifteen minutes a day. The point is: The words and ways of God will abide in you more deeply and more powerfully if you give yourself to some serious reading of great books that are saturated with Scripture. It certainly does not have to be John Calvin—or my favorite, Jonathan Edwards—but not to read any of the great old books when you have access to them may be owing to nothing better than what Lewis calls “chronological snobbery.”
So, I would argue that any Christian has the time to get serious about the things of God without even having to cut out various other good things. The fact of the matter is that Christians are people of a book, namely the Bible, and people of a long tradition (which we will get to in a moment). To attempt the Christian life without being willing to read is hamstringing yourself before a marathon at best, and spiritual suicide at worst. To live without reading is to limp into Heaven, or run full speed into hell. That is the answer to the second part of the question. The logical next step is to ask, “what do I read with my 15, or 30, or 90 minutes a day?” How do you know who to trust to give you the best presentation of Christian truth?
The authority in a Christian’s life begins with Scripture, the Spirit, the early Christian Creeds, and 2,000 years of orthodoxy within the Christian tradition. Simply put, the essential truths for salvation are clear in Scripture. For those things which are not clear, or one could be easily mistaken on, the Great Tradition of Church History is our good friend. I will quote at length a portion of the Protestant, and “small c” catholic Westminster Confession of Faith, but would recommend any Christian to read Chapter 1 “Of the Holy Scripture.” Here is what the divines wrote,
The whole counsel of God, concerning all things necessary for His own glory, man’s salvation, faith, and life, is either expressly set down in Scripture, or by good and necessary consequence may be deduced from Scripture: unto which nothing at any time is to be added, whether by new revelations of the Spirit, or traditions of men. Nevertheless we acknowledge the inward illumination of the Spirit of God to be necessary for the saving understanding of such things as are revealed in the Word; and that there are some circumstances concerning the worship of God, and the government of the church, common to human actions and societies, which are to be ordered by the light of nature and Christian prudence, according to the general rules of the Word, which are always to be observed.
All things in Scripture are not alike plain in themselves, nor alike clear unto all; yet those things which are necessary to be known, believed, and observed, for salvation, are so clearly propounded and opened in some place of Scripture or other, that not only the learned, but the unlearned, in a due use of the ordinary means, may attain unto a sufficient understanding of them.
Here are other sources that relate to this question:
8) If God is in control of everything, does that mean God causes someone to be raped?
Short answer, no. God does not cause someone to be raped. Rather than provide quick answers and short articles, I would recommend reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of Desiring God by John Piper, where he deals specifically with questions of God’s sovereignty and goodness.
In addition to those pages, I would recommend these sources:
Has God predetermined every detail in the universe, including sin?
With all this suffering, how could there be a God? | Tim Keller at Columbia University
9) What does it mean that God will not forgive you if you don’t forgive others? Have we not already been forgiven even if we do not choose to forgive?
In short, when the Bible makes a command (you must forgive) with a warning aimed at the security of salvation in the hearer (if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven), what the text is saying is that those who have truly been forgiven will be forgiving people.
Being a person who is able to forgive, even intense injustices suffered at the hands of others, is one evidence that they have truly received forgiveness from God, who in Jesus suffered entirely innocently at the hands of sinners.
The base idea here is that we are not saved by the good work itself (forgiving others), but that true salvation always produces good fruit (forgiving others). The indicative (we have been forgiven in Christ) is the grounds for the imperative (therefore, forgive others, even your enemies).
Piper answers this question in this Ask Pastor John Episode.
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